Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
