it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
