there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up under a house in Key West
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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