My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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