Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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