I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
