Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
