I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
