tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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