so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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