office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
