My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
