I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
