she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
