You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
