walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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