i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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