I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize