Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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