Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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