By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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