Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
