You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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