Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
