Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
