Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
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I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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