Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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