it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
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Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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