oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
