Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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