This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
