i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
