she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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