That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
