I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
