Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am one with the molecules
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
