Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
