Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you had me at cake vodka
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
