It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
