These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
