I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
