My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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