saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
