so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
