Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
