weddingsv make me drug and hornr
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We got so high we made milksteak
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
