whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
