Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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