Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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