conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
