I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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