and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize