So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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