I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
