How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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