he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
