My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
