like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
