i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
