Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
honey bunches of taint.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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