Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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