I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize